Portland Oregon Sucks
A Special Damp Level of Hell
When my employer at the time announced they were closing the Colorado office and relocating most employees to Portland, Oregon I actually looked forward to it. I'd long been thinking about moving to a new city just to try it out and several people told me I'd like Portland. I was optimistic all during the planning and the move, but not long after arriving in town I came to the harsh realization that Portland, Oregon sucks as a place to live.
I know that putting this out there will generate some harsh words for me, likely from Portland natives and I'm fine with that. If I can save just one person the grief and pain of living in Portland Oregon I will have done my job with this page.
Since just making a statement like "Portland Sucks" isn't going to mean much on its own, I will describe a few reasons I believe this to be true. I've thought hard about it, and came up with the following eight reasons that I believe Portland sucks.
- Portland Weather Sucks
Yes, this is an obvious one, everyone knows that it rains a lot in Portland, right? Not exactly. The average rainfall for Portland is only 35 inches per year. So in twelve months you actually get less precipitation than St. Louis County at 38.75 inches, but have you ever heard that "it rains a lot in St. Louis"? The problem is that it's not actually rain coming down, but a constant drizzle. Just enough to annoy, but not enough to really be called rain. And it comes down for basically 9 months straight. Where other cities will get their precipitaion in large bursts and have relatively nice weather the rest of the time, Portland is simply dreary the majority of the time. As a friend who moved there put it "I've never quite gotten used to the sound of my shoes squeaking on the floor every time I come inside." And while the summers can be dry and sunny, the sky lacks any real blue to it, instead being a constant shade of grey even on the nicest summer day. And it's not just me that noticed it, but a friend who moved from Montana said the exact same thing.
- Portland Drivers and Traffic Sucks
I've travelled to quite a few places and never have I seen worse drivers than they have in Portland. The fastest speed limit you will see anywhere in Oregon is 65 mph and even that seems too fast for their feeble brains to be able to grasp. It's not just the legendary rush-hours either, I have seen traffic be at stop and go at 2am on a Tuesday morning. Never a reason for it besides the two idiots playing a game of who can go the slowest and block the most amount of traffic, racing side-by-side. It had gotten bad enough my girlfriend and I began playing a game of "spot the asshole", which wasn't very hard to win, they were everywhere. And when the drizzle was coming down they were "extra careful", acting like they had never seen moisture come from the sky before. God forbid it snow (as it did once during my two years of living there.) A co-worker put it best when he said "it was like nuclear winter on the highway, people standing outside of their cars just staring into the sky without comprehension." In what any other city would have been a reason to come into work half an hour late or so actually resulted in the entire city shutting down for four straight days. On another occasion a friend spent a night at my house then headed up to Seattle for work. He called me from the road to report than in spite of leaving my house at 2pm as of 4pm (2 hours later!) he had not yet crossed the bridge into Washington. Keep in mind that the bridge was roughly 20 miles away. And this was absolutely normal, just another Weds afternoon on the roads of Portland.
- Portland Recreation Sucks
Keep in mind with this category I am only talking about why Portland sucks, not the whole state of Oregon. From what I understand Oregon itself actually does have decent recreation, but you would never know it living in Portland. Recreation is available, but it is far outside the city, I had to drive over 45 miles each way just to go mountain biking. The Columbia River Gorge is there for windsurfing (for the couple months out of the year it's not drizzling and miserable), but to drive to it from the west side of Portland could easily take up to an hour due to the traffic mentioned above. Mountain biking in the Portland area is scarce. Many people will point out Forest Park, which is "the largest natural forest reserve within a city in the U.S." according to Wikipedia. It sounds great until you realize Forest Park is for hikers and runners, they hate bicycles there. Bicycles are limited to the main road (not quite paved but certainly not single-track), and if you do ride it you will get a constant barrage of runners and walkers telling you to "SLOW THE HELL DOWN" (this happens even while pedaling a slow speed uphill.) There is climbing in the Portland area if you are willing to deal with the used condoms and broken bottles at Rocky Butte (aka "Trashy Butte"). Twice I went to Rocky Butte for Adopt-A-Crag Day, but we were fighting a losing battle, the place was getting junked faster than it could be cleaned. The next nearest climbing is Smith Rocks, which while great is still a 4 hour drive away from Portland.
- Portland Taxes Suck
Do you like having spending money when you get your paycheck? If so, stay away from Portland. While many studies make claims of how little tax burden Oregon has I found the exact opposite to be the case. Watching how my net income dropped after moving to Oregon was an eye-opener. My income was approximately $300/month lower after the move away from Colorado. Over the course of 12 months this adds up to a hefty $3600. Then add in the incredibly high property taxes when I purchased a home (my home purchase was a desperate attempt to get a tax break after seeing what had happened to my paycheck) and my tax burden was increased by more than $5,000 per year over what I had been paying prior. Note my income did not rise, so I wasn't in a higher tax bracket on the Federal scale, this discrepancy was entirely due to Oregon state taxes. Now many people who live in Oregon like to say "but you are saving money, there is no sales tax here!" and you might be inclined to agree with them until you do some basic math. For the sake of argument lets use 10% as the sales tax you might pay. In order to "save money" I would have had to have spent $50,000 a year on taxable goods to cover the additional $5k increase in taxes. Taking the fact that groceries (normally my biggest expense) are not taxed in Colorado anyway that means I would have had to have spent $50,000 a year on consumer junk just to break even, I would have had to have spent more than that to "save money by not having a sales tax." And yet both years I was in Portland there were rumblings about how the schools needed additional funding so the state should institute a sales tax, which really would have wrecked my discretionary funds. One caveat however is that Oregon uses a sliding income tax scale from 4%-9% so for the many low-paying jobs in Portland the tax burden would be less. It takes a mere income of $6500 a year to run into the 9% income tax bracket. And if you live in Multinomah County (basically all of the Portland city proper) you get to pay an additional 1% income tax as well.
- Portland Government Sucks
The government in Portland hates two things, people and businesses. Right as I was moving to the city they put out a ballot measure (Measure 28 if I remember right) where the government basically told its citizens "pass this additional tax or we will be forced to let the violent prisoners out of jail first." Later they amended it with "oh, and schools need money, please think of the children". The best post I found about it was located at Jack Bog's Blog. If you really want to see how the government was spending the money you should check out most of the posts about the Portland Development Commission where they will give away any number of millions of dollars for no particular reason (except maybe graft) and yet every year the government screams about having no money and how you need to pay more taxes. For instance: Taking no prisoners, or shutting down the courts on Fridays. Or how about having the government go ahead and pass a new income tax after voters reject it, forcing them to reject it yet again?
As for being hostile to business you just have to look at the number of companies that have moved out of Portland, either across the river into Vancouver or out of state entirely. And with fees of $27,000 to move a pizza business across the steet it's a small wonder. The Portland government's attitude towards business can best be stated as: "They run you out." Most of the jobs in the Portland area are low-paying and the government sure doesn't seem to care about changing that. How would you explain the fact that Oregon usually has the highest unemployment rate in the country? Oregon's economic hangover has some nice details, like "The unemployment rate drops to 7.5 percent, the lowest level in six months. Even so, Oregon continues to post the highest unemployment rate in the country."
And let us not forget the "nanny state" treatment of its citizens. Oregon is only of only two states in the US where you are not allowed to pump your own gas (New Jersey is the other one.) Instead what you have to do is find a pump, drive up, sit, and wait while the person on duty finishes their cigarette and is done chit-chatting on their cell phone. When they finally can be bothered to come help you they will take your credit card, put the nozzle in the tank and then leave. And the first time it clicks off that's it, they hand you a receipt and you are expected to leave. But what happens if, as it will sometimes do, the pump decides your tank is full before it actually is? Well then get ready to wait some more and get your credit card back out, these mindless drones won't bother to try and top off your tank, they just take the first click to mean you are done. And that usually puts you into the back of the queue as well.
- Portland People Suck:
To be fair before I get too far into this I don't mean the entire population that lives in Portland, Oregon sucks. More specifically I've found the natives to the area are the ones that suck, there are quite a lot of nice people but most of them are not from the area at all.
The main problem I've seen is that Portland is full of hipsters. They believe they are oh-so-much more cool than you by virtue of the fact they work at a small coffee shop and have no money, yet can come up with the cash for $12 martinis. While you will run into this breed in other cities the city of Portland is small, thus giving a higher concentration of hipsters in one place (likely the result of the "Urban Growth Boundary" that Portlanders both love and hate.) Once you get away from them however you are left with the rest of the population that seem to want to believe cliches about their city that aren't actually true. My favorite conversation would go something like this: Me: "So, why do you like living in Portland?", Them: "Oh, there are so many things! I especially love how close I am to both the beach and the mountain!" (keep in mind, that is "mountain" in the singular, not plural.) Me: "Really? When was the last time you went to either?" Them: "Geez, I must have been a little kid, I really don't remember..." Another thing they love to do is tell you how much "outdoors there is here", but then rare is it that you meet someone who actually leaves their house for anything besides a night of drinking.
If you can get past all of that they are what I like to call "superficially nice". You can stop just about anyone and ask the time or for some directions, but don't try to actually be their friend. In general they are still hanging out with the same people they have known since elementary school and they are simply not interested in having any additional friends. During parties a familiar topic of discussion is usually "why is it so hard to meet people in Portland?" with the consensus being that while difficult in other cities as well it's not nearly as hard to make permanent friends elsewhere as it is in Portland. In the two years I lived there I made two good friends and it's notable that neither one of them is a native to the city.
If you plan to move there you should be very careful about any criticism of anything in the area as well. When I said "Wow the gas guys can move slow, I wish I could pump my own" I was admonished with "You are an idiot, at least this way you don't smell like gas when you get back in your car!" (I have no idea how that person pumped their gas that they would smell of it later.) Or say "Wow, income tax here is incredibly high!" and they will immediately defend with "But we have no sales tax so you save money" (I've covered this already, I wish some of that tax money would go to math classes because people in Portland are bad at math apparently.) Or when asked "So, if there are two lanes on this highway why do they need to be filled with people going 5 mph UNDER the speed limit? Why not move over and let someone go by?" the reply was typically "Well what is your hurry, you shouldn't drive so fast." Because driving the speed limit is "fast"! The list could go on, but I think you get the idea.
In a nutshell what do I think of Portland? Well, I think Portland Oregon sucks. It's a real chore when people ask me what I didn't like about it, it's much easier to say the few things I did actually like about it; things like seeing Stephanie Schneiderman sing, or going to a cheap movie at a McMenamin's movie theater. Or, uhh, actually I think that's it. So two positive things out of living there for two years. Thanks a lot Portland, I wish I could have my missing two years back.
Comments
He's gone says: No kidding. At least he's gone now. Me and my no friends are sitting here laughing at him right now!!
zeebo says: Thanks for spreading the word! The more pretentious assholes like yourself that are scared away the better! The mayor shoould give you a medal for that and we should give you a standing ovation for leaving, ya loooooser
PortlandSucks says: PORTLAND, OREGON DOES SUCK #?*!& !*&%*!!!! The two previous comments from "He's gone" and "zeebo" are probobly from meth-head, video poker playin, thrift-close wearin, tree-huggin loser freaks. People in Portland are all about their personal agendas, while acting like they are here to save the world! Last time I checked, Oregon was still a part of the USA, where we are free to come and go as we please. Oregonians need to quit acting like they are 'godesses' gift to the universe, start 'combining' their foods like normal people, do something real about the unemployment rate (yeah, that's something to be proud of)and get over themselves!!! Maybe all the pot-smoking hippies that spawned illegitimate free-love kids were wrong? Check out Portland and find out!
terri says: I can understand why you only made 2 real friends in your 2 years here and the fact that they are not natives is not surprising. How can you make friends if you catergorize people so readily (portlanders are al hipsters etc etc. I was born and raised here in portland now live right outside of it. I lived in California for 8 years and overseas for 3 and i can tell you there are problems in every city. You just have to keep an open mind and find the things that are wonderful . I f Portland was such a sucky place it would not have the enormous growth it has had in the last 10 years. As for the traffic try LA anytime of day any city that did not plan for the growth that comes is having huge traffic problems.Not to be honery but most of those slow drivers especially in the rain and snow are not native to Portland or Oregon for that matter, If I could poll those drivers I can almost bet that is true. Anyway I do thank you for your crude misinformation as Portland has had to many People moving here and the overcrowding is making things worse so keep up the good work. I've been to Montana it's a beautiful state maybe we can start sending everyone there.
Paul says: It's not that the drivers are so bad, it that even the ones that have been driving 20 years still drive like they are students. They are so unsure of their abilities that they are scared to drive. Take a High School kid just learning and a 30 year old Portlander and you can't really tell the difference.
Take last Sunday when we got less than 1/8 inch of snow and the traffic slowed to 15 mph and people started putting chaines on.
Someone says: What, nothing about the TrailBlazers?
juryout says: All of you "liber'allies" that move here without jobs are the ones that drive the taxes and cost of living up here.
Yes I am a conservative native that has lived in a number of "real" cities in the US and decided to move back because the quality of life here...for now is not so bad. I could give a rats ass if you like living here or not...and yes it does rain a lot here and the days are mostly grey...GO AWAY THEN...
Leah says: Actually, the writer of this blog DID decide to leave Portland--a wise decision, if you ask me. It is possible to argue that his jaundiced view of the city made it dificult for him to make friends while he was here, but it would be quite difficult to argue with the facts and figures that he quoted concerning local taxes, the court system, and the cost of doing business in the city--all powerful disencentives for remaining in the city. I have also noticed the strong, snooty hipster component--it's impossible to walk around Portland without bumping into a few of them. I've been in Portland for two years, and I am moving next summer to a more affordable, politically enlightened place. It is difficult for me to think of Portland as enlightened, when schools are shutting down for lack of funding, and there are no sliding fee scale health clinics for the uninsured. For heavens' sake, Tacoma, Washington has THREE. When I move here, I naively thought that the city had a social consciousness, but soon discovered a serious apathy problem concerning social problems. For example, there are meth dealers on my street, the police know about it--have known for years--but refuse to do anything about it. I'm sure the skeletal city budget has something to do with it. Why is it skeletal by the way? We certainly pay enough in taxes. This has to be the most overrated city in America.
mc says: The best thing about Portland is if you get stuck on the wrong road there is usally no way to turn around for at least a good 3-5 miles. And service roads for the freeways don't exist so if something is blocking the road, you are stuck.
Matt says: You didn't mention how all the street signs are on the far side at interesections, meaning you only discover the street you're looking for after it's too late.
SoTrue says: As a Portland Native I totally agree. You can't choose where your born, but you can choose where you live.. Thank GOD it's all behind me now.. Can I get back my wasted years too? : )
MikeD says: The best thing I can say about Portland is that it only claimed seven months of my life. The people suck, the weather sucks, the g'ment really sucks. One of the most beautiful area of the country has been ruined by a bunch of liberal neanderthals. Good luck and good riddance.
tlxreed says: Anywhere but Oregon. There's got to be a reason this state sucks. Maybe because it has Portland in it?
Agreed says: Ive never lived in a city where drivers caused "accidents" by going down the WRONG side of the freeway. It happened three times since i've moved to Portland for college. Worst drivers ever.
INdeed says: Concur on all the things above. Though I don't want to mention in this email where I think is a better place to live because I don't want the citizens from the People's Republic of Oregon taking it over. Oregon does suck, the weather, the drivers, the houses, the people, the taxes, the roads, they all suck. it's a great example for all civic leaders to see how to screw up a state, if Kalifornia didn't quite give them enough reasons. Suffer Oregon...
yesPDXsux says: So true! I found this essay by googling "Portland Sucks" and it made me laugh out loud. I was one of those young educated white liberal twenty-somethings who moved here from the Midwest because all the people similar to me seemed to be migrating to Portland. Well, I made it seven months here. And what I found out is that the bland Midwestern city where I had lived before (about the size of Portland) was a LOT more fun. It was way easier to make friends there, and people did more interesting things with their time. Young people in Portland seem to do nothing but drink, smoke pot, and engage in antisocial introspective behavior. They're full of themselves and are entirely hypocritical in their liberal ideas about "community" and "progressive thought." I'm packing up my hemp necklaces and tie-dyed clothing and moving back to the Midwest, where people actually speak their minds openly and have room for a new friend in their lives!!
Glad I am here says: Portland is not perfect, but it is the closest to perfect I have found. Granted, I came from Indiana, which is probably not as cosmopolitan as Colorado, so perhaps my comments should be taken with a grain of salt.
I am thankful for the great friends I have met here. We share similar values of concern for people and our country.
On second thought, disregard the above--Portland is terrible so no one should move here...EVER.
as you were.
boonoonoonoos says: You've hit the nail SMACK DAB on the head! I live "across the great divide" in Vancouver....have 4 acres, the fork---< of two large creeks running through the middle of my backyard w/ campfire pits on BOTH sides of all THAT splendor, and although it surely IS a blissful nature extravaganza...
For the most part, I enjoy it alone! Vancouver is a ghetto FULL of hicks n' tweakers...and I've made true effort going to Portland to try and make Keen-eyed friends
but the TWENTY MINUTE drive to Nirvana here, is just too far for them to travel. My world here makes a GREAT friendless BINKY...and I've lived here for SEVENTEEN years! It's gonna pay off when I sell and head La La Land. People are friendly while basking on white sand n' dipping in turquoise tide!
Mike says: I love this guy's post!! I'll keep it and pass it on to everyone who asks, "Should I move to Portland?"
The answer is "NO!!!!" I don't care why they don't move here just as long as they don't move here. Please move to that world famous outdoor recreation center, Atlanta, Georgia instead!!! Please!!!
chachacha says: as a portlander, i love my city
i do agree the drivers suck, however our public transportation stomps on most cities'
but, if one of the two things you enjoyed was a mcmenamins, you probably dont belong here
cause mcmenamins SUCKS ass, its a formulaic tourist trap with the shittiest service in town, and incredibly mediocre food, riveled only by the mediocre beer. and my friend is their brewer and i still say that
if you had to drive 45 minutes to mountain bike, you were looking (or not) in all the wrong places. the hipster quotient is high, you bet, but even us portlanders need a social group to loathe. check.
this is one of the cleanest cities i've ever been in, and i have had no trouble making friends, even with the dreaded hipsters
and while people like you are leaving, i'll sit back and watch my equity grow, and grow
forty grand in the last year, not to shabby, huh
and Vantuckian - if you love it so much in the 'couv, stop stealing oregon jobs and fucking up traffic
the problem with traffic is all the cheap ass breeders move to washington, buy a tract home and then work in portland, but refuse the light rail initiatives
live in washington, work in washington
bastards
Ringo says: There's a city or town for everyone, I guess. Portland wasn't the one for you. Sorry the charm of this city eluded you, but most people who come here love it. If that weren't true, it wouldn't continue to be one of the hottest real estate markets in the country year after year.
jason says: whatever!! i love portland!! deal with it loser
Holy-Fool says: P-town native here (no-po shout). Undeniably way too many shallow, hipper-than-thou types.
Undeniably horrible local gov't. Whenever you have a city commish., who has no authority whatsoever to do so, self-righteously proclaiming gay marriage an addendum to the original state constitution (a constitution that expressly forbade property ownership to Blacks and Chinese), there is a serious problem with local gov't.
As for traffic? All I can say it's definitely worse than it was 20 years ago, when I began driving. Then again, the city's growth has absolutely exploded since then. Don't suppose any of these Mexi-Cali/East Coast/Midwest/BFE transplants have anything to do with it, hmmmmm?
Finally, you could say I've gotten out a bit. I've been to all 50 states, and 5 other continents. There's a lot to rightfully dislike about this area, but then again, I've encountered snooty people pretty much everywhere I've gone, except New Zealand. Granted, I was only there 2 weeks. Lame-o slow drivers abound everywhere as well, people. Ever driven Seattle? How 'bout the hub in DC? Cairo, Egypt, anyone? For adrenaline junkies only, I assure you...
And if you want to see unbridled unfriendliness, go anywhere in Europe, the Middle East, or heck, even to any coffee shop in P-town with an I Love the USA t-shirt on. Just make sure to have your affairs in order, ahead of time.
Been around this great big world, and I say without hesitation, that there's nowhere I'd rather be on a glorious summer day, than on any local river, fishing, with Mt. Hood in the backdrop, and friends (yes some since elementary school--like that's bad?!?) on hand to share the joy.
Emilie says: I'm thinking you should be in therapy for all of your anger issues. Sure, there are some lame things about Portland. There are lame aspects to every city I've ever been to. Why write a lengthy diatribe about it? Boring.
Suburbian Native says: I have to agree with most of his comments and I'm a Portland Suburbian native. The only qualifier is a lot of the comments are true of Portlanders (in Portland proper) not those of us other Oregonians who moved out into the country. We moved away from the coffee drinking hipsters. We actually like nature but unfortunately he's right it rains like 9 months a year so put on a rain gear or go to one of our many pubs. Us seasonal depressionals can attest to the constant rain.
Plus he's right about the taxes and gas here. I would like to pump my own gas (especially since all the gas stations since the 1980's have put a cover over the people filling up.) The politicians do constantly bitch about needing more taxes too cause here the "Nanny State" comment doesn't just apply to the gas pumping. Every liberal has congregated here to tell you how to spend your money, raise your child, etc...
Dino says: I moved here with nothing just to be in Portland. Rebuilt a life and a good one. Every place has its faults but the positives far outweigh the negs in Portland. Personally, I think this whole country is a semi-cesspool but Portland has much less of the negative qualities I find in other affordable places not the least of which is that there are few ignorant republicans living here and the ones that are are easy to control.
rashell says: I can personally say portland really really sucks! I lived there up till 6 months ago. I went to visit and wanted to come straight back! I am a single mom and work my ass off, I make good money and the government wont give me any sort of breaks, but the meth heads on the other hand, shit lets help them out! Did you know Oregon is among the highest rates of suicide? Hm...wonder why? There is nothing good about Oregon, at all! I live in Vegas now and I am so happy that I made this change!
neil says: i am 18, and i came in portland two years ago.i come from paris, i lived there most of my life before moving to africa. then i came to portland........,and i got to tell you some things,it really sucks. portland is a small,rainy,cold,sad,and boring city(if i can call it a city) and there is nothing but white people
fatman says: Then there's Portland's lame excuse for professional sports: The Portland JAILblazers! Highest bankrolled franchise in the NBA, worst record, and the bigest bunch of primadonna nancies on the court! Of course, off court, they are all scofflaws, wife-beaters, drug users, no-insurance Hummer drivers and pitbull abattoir fighters like Qyntel Woods (just last year). Luh-HOOOO-sers!
D Lewis says: Yes,he is gone.and I wish I was too.
But I'm stuck in this nightmare of a City,full of Hicks and Slack Jawed Yokels who THINK they are 'Hip'.
Harvard does NOT prepare you for this kind of ignorance.
UofA grad says: I saw this link on Portland's Craigslist rants and raves board. It's become very popular because it is so true! The city of Portland and the surrounding coutryside (except SE and Gresham, which are total infested meth lab havens) is very nice, but the PEOPLE completely SUCK! They are all as dour and grey as the weather. I think the only hing that keeps them from committing suicide en masse is all the Starbucks - you literally trip over a Starbuck at every freaking corner.
stay out says: Please do pass this on, I'm tired of idiots like you invading my city, we are weird, we are rude but only beacause we encouter morons like you on a daily basis who don't know how to throw their trash in a trash can, or to clean up after themselves. Ever been to Seattle or LA?!? Try traffic there man. Long story short (which may not be a concept you can grasp) get out and stay out please and thank you.
Becky says: Wow, sorry to see you go. However, you are making room for someone who can appreciate our state. Sorry you can't pump your own gas you redneck. Go.....be one with yourself and your moron attitude.
myk999 says: Sounds fimilar. The people are just like people in Seattle. They also boast about the federal parks but no one every goes there. Using drugs and drinking alcohol are the two biggest cultural events in Seattle. Judging by the other posts; I can see that freedom of speech is only allowed when you argee with the herd. Seattlites are like this but SF'ers are much worse. Clowns that think SF, Seattle and Portland are the bomb have clearly never been (or lived) in New York City. NYC has the highest consentration of cool people on earth. I'm glad I'm not in Seattle or SF anymore. I haven't heard 'spare change' in months.
NativeOne says: At one time, all the roads leading into Oregon had signs posted, as do most states, welcoming you to the state. The genius governor Mark Hatfield had them all read 'Visit, but leave no trace". Since then the PC Police have forced them to be changed, but the attitude remains the same. This is our state, take your midwest 'red state' attitude and LEAVE. Happy to have you gone.
Oregonads says: Oh! You mean Mark Hatfield the adulterer? The cuckold? Yeah, Oregon leads the way with many such notable polital ficures! How about Neil Goldschmidt the child molester?
Stuck In Portland says: I agree 100%. Most states with a sales tax have no income tax (one in place of the other) but Portlanders do not get that and they say crap like "But think, if we had a sales tax, of all the money we'd make off of the tourists that come here and visit." A totally ignorant statement if there ever was one. I go to Washington State to shop, I show my Oregon ID and thus I don't have to pay their sales tax.
And Portland is the place to live if your life centers around alcohol and overindulgance with it. There is very little to do in the city if you have young children (one could go to the park but the dog owners have taken them over). There' the yaerly disaster known as the Rose Festival that loses more money with each passing year (government issue). The fact that portland or Multnomah County pays 82% more in taxes than any other city in the united states explains why if you live in portland or are thinking of moving here you should have a full bank account or be of "Olde Money" (which many 'hipsters' are ie. the $12.00 martini's) Housing is atrocious here. Most landlords would be considered slumlords anywhere else but here. No weatherization, cheap carpeting and paint, if something breaks from normal wear and tear, have fun waiting for it to get fixed by a maintainence person who more than likely is dyslexic and will put everything together sdrawkcab (3 places I have lived were like this). Mold is common from the precipitation, many apartments and houses have no insulation and are far beyond housing code guidelines. The minimum wage is higher than any other place in the country but many employees only make minimum wage. And besides that, Native Oregonions (as they like to call themselves) are extremely hostile to those not born here and living here. (Don't mispronounce and call it : Ore-Ee-Gone as some do, they take great offense to it)I was born in Portland. Joined the military and came back afterwards, had I not had children since then I would pack up and move elsewhere but I have to think of them. If you like jumping on the bandwagon and joining the movement of the moment, treat your animal like its more human than a human being, love high taxes, can easily delude yourself that those taxes really are going to the school system while each year more teachers are laid off and more schools are closing, don't mind living in less than mediocre housing that you'll pay out the ass for, like to drink lots of coffee and alcohol, and like to ask your fellow man how you feel about something or what your opinion should be (collective thought), and can live with being over governed by idiots who can't mangae their personal banking let alone state and local government than by all means, come to Portland, you'll fit right in. Just don't get old here...that's a whole different can of worms.
Brandon92DSM says: Portland only wishes it could be as dirty, rainy, crowded, hip, and rude as Seattle. Now theres a shithole...used to live there. Portland is okay compared to Seattle. Portland is probably not okay compared to NYC or San Francisco. Its somewhat relative I guess.
Dick M says: Friend you nailed it on the head. Every time I gove up the Columbia Gorge and visit my folks on the good side of the state I have a heavy PC load taken off my chest near The Dalles. On the return trip I get crotchety and the smell overtakes me at Troutdale. I sometimes wonder why I need a 100k plus a year job instead of 70k on the east side of the mountains. Portland and the whole Willamette Valley suck hind tit.
State of mind says: Yup, we're all a bunch of drunken, pot-smokin', coffee-guzzlin', ignorant bunch of yokels. Since we and our state are so repugnant to you, please, by all means, stay the hell out. Us arrogant, stuckup, "hipster" natives would be thrilled to have our gray, soggy city to ourselves again, without a bunch of morons telling us how badly we've screwed everything up. Wasn't screwed up till you got here, champ.
Shon says: Ah don't sweat it, just another moron that moved here and could not keep a job or get laid. Now he is gone. GOOD RIDDANCE DOUCHE BAG!!!
Mojo Tens says: If Portland sucks so bad, then why is our population booming?
People move here to LIVE. They want a good quality of life. Sure, we have problems here but unlike many other cities where you can just sit and whine, here in Portland you can do something about it. You can have a sit-down with the mayor or any of the city council members by making one phone call. Our new mayor rocks; he's enjoying a 75% approval rating. Can you say that about your city? Portland is a great city for non-conformists and independent thinkers, which would explain why so many of you hate it so passionately.
Yes, it rains here. More than some places, less than others. The result is that the air is always clean (take THAT, LA, Philidelphia, Denver, Phoenix, NYC, Frisco, Miami, and Atlanta!). The aquifer that feeds Portland is one of the best in the country. Trees are so plentiful you can barely see the buildings. It's too bad you have to drive an hour or so to get to the best windsurfing spot in the country (Hood River, where world-class invitational tournaments are held--kite surfing was invented there) or the only place where there is year-round skiing or night-skiing. Timberline Lodge is always booked solid, and it's been there over 70 years!
The most popular bookstore in the country (Powell's) is here. There are far more attractive, single, available women here than almost anywhere else in the USA. There is no severe weather here, which means that it's easy to get around. No dust storms, tornados, hurricanes, and few county-wide floods or earthquakes. With the gridiron-style street design, it's easy to navigate Portland. No urban sprawl, no miles and miles of strip malls. The MAX light-rail line is one of the most imitated transit systems in the country. There's a strong holistic/organic lifestyle here, and tons of fitness clubs and bike paths.
The arts scene here is off the meter. So many music clubs with rock, salsa, jazz, country, blues, whatever you want. If want flamenco or Bulgarian yak music, you can find it almost any day of the week. Tons of art galleries, dance companies, a world-class symphony orchestra and ballet theater.
With all that and much more, I can see why Portland is so unpopular with so many of you. We know it, and we're proud of it, and we're more than happy that you stay away. There used to be a sign on our southern border: Come and enjoy Oregon, but please don't stay here!" We all wish it were still there. Please, move to California and stay away from Portland. That suits us just fine.
Leah says: It's ironic that when someone criticizes this fair, politically-correct land, the knee-jerk response from these politically correct, free-thinking "liberals" is "why don't you just leave?" Sounds shockingly similar to how Republicans react when someone criticizes George Bush and the current administration. You know, those darn red-state yokels who say, "If you don't like the USA, why don't you move to Russia--or Iraq--or France....?" You guys actually miss the good old days when Oregon had a sign at its border telling everyone to leave, and then try to convince us that you're a bunch of open-minded, symphony-loving, Powell's-bookstore-hangin' folks. Somehow, I'm not convinced!
M T says: Portland is a total GAY haven. I am straight dammit, and all these gay guys are always hitting on me. Can't a guy just go to Silverado and have a beer, fer Christ's sake!?!?
Bill Devil says: Perhaps some people can deal with never going outside except for 2 months of the year. If you are a couch potato or just like to be inside all year, Portland would be great. Basicall it rains 14 out of 15 days all year except July and August and part of September. The other 1 out of fivteen days it will usually just be overcast or sunny and cold as shit.
Any time I want to go for a walk, ride my bike or just sit outside, its fucking raining.
If you are thinking of moving here, I suggest you come for a week any time except for July - September. Come to portland, get a nice hotel and stay here a good 9 days or ten days. Watch it rain almost constantly. After the 10th day, you won't be able to wait any longer to go home. Do be stupid and visit here in September like me and then buy a house here and be fucking stuck here.
Mojo Tens says: It's true, Portland is a liberal town. Look up the word "liberal" in your dictionary and you'll understand why it scares so many people.
I can't speak for the others like me who said "If you don't like Portland, leave!". But I added that if you don't like something about Portland, work to change it. Only idiots complain about the weather, but you can change the social/political situation if you work toward it. You have a choice, unlike the political conservatives who resist all change and want to take the world into a faux-Christian police state.
See, that's the thing about Oregon in general and Portland in particular. If you speak up, you can do something about it. But who wants to hang out with someone who prefers to whine? Other whiners, looks like.
In other words, fish or cut bait. And look up that word like I said.
cookielady says: i was born and raised in Portland, and i totally agree with the comment that Portland sucks......I have lived all over the country, and people are a lot more friendly anwhere but Portland......after my husband passed away, I move back "home" within a year, my home was robbed and my front windows were shot out (in a nice neighborhood where I grew up) enuf is enuf,i got the hell out, and moved accross the river, where I can pump my own gas and not have to pay outrageous property and income tax.......i live in a nice safe neighborhood and like the area
ex_pdx says: Potland is beautiful. Its RESIDENTS completely SUCK ASS.
That's the long and short of it, really.
jamie says: I LOVE PORTLAND. Ill admit people are stuck up but you find that everywhere. TRY indiana, the most stuck up lazy people in the USA. Everyone is narrow minded,yuppies. Just sit back and chill out. And one more thing when you live in oregon you are suppose to live in the mountains
jojo says: You are right, Portland isn't perfect, good for you that you found a much better town that is more suitable to your tastes. Now please tell all your friends, if you have any how much you hate it and to never ever move there, not even to just check it out. Excuse me now, I have to go catch the MAX to meet up with some "hipster" friends, (I get along with them ok because I try not to judge people so harshly), I don't need a car and expensive car payments and insurance payments (not to mention gas prices) to get around Portland, saves alot of money and frustration in traffic. My car has been payed off for years, I only use if for long trips and to haul things occasionaly. The city has wonderful public trans., And I bike year round, great exercise! You should try it, instead of driving 2 hours out to some spot to bike around for an hour and come home to brag to your friends about what a great mountain biker you are....on the occassional weekend.
bh says: Guess what, we are cool and hip and you are still a goof.
You had no friends because you are an insecure freak.
Remember, no matter where you go, you still have a tiny
dick...and cookie lady, you belong in vantucky, there's not
enough room for 400lb wallmart shoppers here.
sup says: I recently moved to Oregon and it does suck. California is much, much more better. The stupid rain :(
underoos says: I have lived in all the western states - Washington, Idaho, Califormia, Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada...and Oregon. I can tell you that the drivers in Portland are the absolute worst examples of the breed I have ever seen.
They don't stop at crosswalks (peds are nearly getting run over in Pioneer Square daily).
They yak on cell phones whilst red lights turn green and then they give you the finger and scream at you when you honk at them to pull their heads out of their asses and GO.
Portland is the only city where I have ever witnessed someone miss their exit on the freeway (Terwilliger), slam on their brakes, and BACK UP. (This caused, not surprisingly, a 10 car pile up).
I lived in Manila in the Pilippines for a year and even THEY don't drive as badly as Portlanders.
You're so right says: Especially about the people in Portland. I moved here a year ago, and I am dying to leave. It's coming soon, but not soon enough for me. I moved here without any expectations, and only good things said. Portland is a good place to visit, a shitty place to live. The weather is a total drain, and the people are retarded and weird. The ones who defend Portland, are the same ones that are to blame for the weird vibes that transplants get from them. Hey, if you want to live in a hick redneck town, move out of the city, if it even should be qualified as a city. Dont bitch and whine about progress and gentrification away from the crack havens that were abandoned and left in shambles. People move here mainly because they hear its nice and its also cheap. Its not all that nice except for about one month of the entire year, and its only cheap because no one who lives here very long wants to stay. No wonder they try to lure citizens in with the property tax freezes. I hate Portland, and I will be so glad to say good riddance once and for all. The "nightlife" is lame at best, except for some parties I've been to that were thrown by fellow transplants from the east coast. Needless to say there is NOTHING good to say about Portland itself, not Oregon as a whole, but just this little shitstick city that has nothing true or substantial to offer.
A Portland Goddess says: I have the feeling maybe you met a girl here and fell in love. Then she found out what a grouch you are and dumped you. Don't blame a city for your inability to look on the bright side of life! People from here know how to have a good time and enjoy life always (even when it rains). If you only look for negativity then that's all you will see.. I feel sorry for you. I love Portland and every other city I've been to. Oh Yeah except Denver, talk about a dirty city....I wouldn't go anywhere at night there. But, Go Broncos!!!
Lister says: Right on, man! As a fifth generation Oregonian, I'd have to agree with most points made during the initial rant. There are a few discrepencies. As far as nature, it's everywhere with many mountain bike trails well within city limits. People should buy one of many Portland bicycle guides because the locals don't like crowds. People...Well,hipsters suck. I should know, people think I'm one. Much of Portland's population is California refugees. After the population boom a lot of these people forgot where they came from due to toxic smog syndrome. They seem to be the ones who try to get in your face when it comes to local pride. I'm proud to be an Oregonian, with all of our great land, people and commodities. I don't feel Portlanders understand Oregon. Oregon was built by forestry, fishing, and farming, yet try to strike up a conversation about any of these (except bro-hams organic turnip farm), and you'll get some guy who'd rather cry than look at the facts. Oregon's economy has turned against itself. Now I don't want to dwell on this, but state revenue has to come from somewhere. The liberal answer to money woes is taxation. I lived in the mid-west for awhile, and when the state had money troubles they cinched up their belt. What do we do here? We hire consultants and management. Money troubles? Better hire some more bureacrats, we'll pay for them with higher taxes. I have never seen such self important doublespeak bastards as the people who run the City of Poortland. Now, for the reason I found this site. My bills are out of control. You'd think that in a state where people readily tie themselves to trees and liberal newspapers have competition, that people might complain about their dayly
bills. You'd think you could "google" about any utility and you'd find pie charts and breakdowns of national averages. Well, I found this blog and lots of "big picture" complaints. I'm a firm believer in keeping things simple. If Oregon rains, water should be cheap. If it rains slow and steady, sewage should be manageable. My wife and I used 8 CCF of water over 3 months. We're told that's the same as a typical single person household. My bill is $120. $13.84 for water, $45.00 for sewage, all the rest is base charge and tax. This is the same as 5 years ago when I had 4 roommates, an old-fashioned washer, and no timer in my shower!Our electric is above national average as well, and that's with wind farms and a giant hydro-electric plant right down the road. I hear they have to burn coal for electricity in the mid-west. After mining, storage, refinement, conversion, and EPA permittance, it's still cheaper! I could go on, but to make a point clear, EVERY utility is above national average and it's not the companies faults (unless they're public). Alright then, why do I live here? For one, after five generations, I feel this is my home with due respect to the true natives- whom I like a whole lot more than the Deadheads. I love the weather. That's right. I love the security of knowing I'm not going to freeze or die of dehydration in the winter. And you can't beat the flowers or the sweet smell of blackberries in the late summer. It's nice to have fresh free organic fruit at your fingertips. I love fish, may it be freshwater or salt. I love fresh produce and the option of vegetarian food. I love living in a port town,just because I can get anything anytime. I love the locals partly due to the mishmash of politics and attitudes. I am guilty of being a boring beer snob. I don't care about dance clubs, new cars or urban youth culture. Give me a pint, a poolstick, and a decent jukebox anyday. Speaking of, Portland has a lot of good music due to leniant noise ordnances. Violent crime is minimal- I've lived in the "worst" neighborhoods without too many problems. It's clean due to the rain. The drivers do suck.. because they are stoned on KGB. The wine is good, too. People aren't as racist as other cities I've been. McMenamin's theatres rock. I can go on and on. The people here make the city. Just because they'd rather talk than mug you, doesn't make them boring. I know of no other city where I can stop anyone, and I mean anyone, and ask for the time or directions, and have them politely reply. I believe it is an expensive city which forces the locals to be creative. If you are a corn fed christian American rat racing pencil pusher- It's probably not for you. If you are a corn-fed christian American blue collar type- the rest of Oregon has plenty of room.
Portland Government Sucks!
portlandGIRL says: I came to Portland from the Midwest, which really does suck if you are an artist or musician. The only people who live in the midwest and like it are generally squares. You'll be right at home eating your cheeseburgers and voting for Bush! Make sure to shop at the mall!
buzz says: Holy crap! I moved here from MT a year and a half ago, and while I have to admit the city has not really lived up to my expectations, I can hardly believe that someone would take the time and energy to run a website devoted to his distain of it. But, let's get some thing cleared up.
1. Yes the rain here does suck, but I really cannot see it as this constant drizzle like the webmaster says. It rains for a half hour, then it stops for a couple. This cycle continues from November to March. But, in MT during the winter, you go to bed and it is 40 degree out, and when you wake up, there is 6" of snow on the ground and -10 degrees. Not that way at all here. You know what to expect weather wise in Portland. Oh, and I noticed you did not say in this that the summer time it is 80 degrees with no humidity.
2. Yes, I admit the drivers here suck. There are a few of whom that go under the speed limit and can clog traffic. But, they are everywhere and at least the asshole drivers are not the super aggressive kinds you find on the other coast. Yes, God forbid it snow because the city has maybe 4 plows. Why? Because why buy a fleet of plows when it snows enough to stick for more than one day every 15 years.
3. Hipsters. Yes, I hear about them all the time. However, I rarely spot any hipsters drinking $12 martinis. Where did you see that? Probably in the Pearl where some wealthy youngsters from the west hills decided to dress down to fit in one night. I tend to see hipsters lean more towards the PBR. Yes, they can be annoying, but so can just about any 21 year old.
4. Taxes? Well, I really can't say too much to that since I am a full time student and have been since I have been here. But, if Oregon were smart, they would start adding a sales tax on things that people don't need. Mainly going out to eat and drink. Take away the city tax and charge 4% to all the bills for any food that someone physically brings to them cooked. Also, tax the hell out of anyone that thinks they need to own more than one car. A family can own as many cars as there are licensed drivers.
Okay, well enough.
coryJ says: Your a fucking fool. Try Living in Phoenix Arizona You can drive fast but every mile has a radar camera just waiting to take your picture. It wont take long before someone takes your identity or robs you at gun point. Don't get to much of a hot head on the highways 1 in 4 cars as a gun in it. Your just a fool. I lived in Oregon and It's a nice place to get a way from it all. You Don't have to worry about gun fights, drop houses with illegal aliens, City Gangs with Machine guns, Cops getting gunned down. 125 degree weather, scorpions in your clothing, Smog, bad water, dusty air. Grow up and get your Honky Ass back to Colorado.
Fuck Off says: I agree with the person who wrote this. It is mostly true. Hard to fully grasp, but its true all the same. I know everyone likes to feel his/her city is wonderful, but Portland is a bit depressing and the people are soooo cool in Portland that you might not be as cool as them is you live in the what ever is not the COOL Quadrent of town. How fucking dumb is that. Oh yea there are to many man hater lesbos here too. Where are all the normal girls? You know ones that shave or maybe look,act like a nice lady? Portland is the most depressing city ive ever lived in. And by the way how come nobody takes a fuckin shower here? Dirt Heads!!!
hoppinroy says: It's all the tree hugging liberals that make portland suck so much.
liar says: That never happened. You fascists employ the tactic of making those you don't like appear less than human so you can continue being assholes.
But really, the poor should not just irritate the rich, they should KILL THEM.
Burnside Bernie says: I was coming home from work tonight over the Burnside Bridge and you have to drive past the Portland Rescue Mission with its unwashed, unemployed, drug-addicted hordes who aspire to suck the state tit as long as they can.
I had to stop at the light and as I was waiting, I saw one of these subhuman monkeys walk up to a car (a BMW) pull down his pants and smear his dirty filthy ass on the driver's window, to the horror of the driver.
I have traveled to a lot of cities in quite afew countries and I have never seen filth and degredation like I have in Portland.
I'm only here for a couple of more months and then I'm out of this damp, cloudy sewer.
URAF says: Sigh! You sound like an anti-social, stuck up, arguementive, and whiny bitch. Show me a perfect state with a good road system, weather, low crime, government etc. Is it possibly you? Nevermind, you wouldn't understand. Keep blaming others for your lazy miserable life, it suits you.
meow says: I agree, I dislike Portland. Everyone I've met turns out to be a two timing jerk that thinks they're hot shit. I do like the outdoors, but I actually go out and do stuff, and no I don't mean Washington Park. I like some things, but mostly it's not worth everyone's rudeness. I think that's the #1 problem, the people. Maybe it's because they all moved up from California...hmmm
TrollKing says: yes, that's right.... portland is a horrible, horrible city.
don't anyone come here.
outdoorsguy562000 says: Ok,Well funny thing happened this last summer I went to your beloved Colorado.And well YOU GUYS HAVE THE SAME DAMM PROBLEMS!!!!!1st thing you talk about your beloved rockies When all it is is a %ucking play ground for Rich assholes in BMW Hell Iwnated to wipe my ass on one in steamboat springs..2nd DENVER SHIT HOLE enough said some great people from the CO but none from denver,3rd Come on dude there is no such thing as the perfect place.YES IT rains alot in portland,BUT I have never once had to shovel myself out from rain.It isn't sunny and hot,BUT damm we have green for more then 2 weeks a year, aka sunny southern cali.I have had the pleasure of traveling this country and living in many places each with its own charm And have yet to find perfect.Be happy where you are NO matter HOW BAD IT SUCKS,because your alive which is beter then being dead,OF course we don't really know that for sure either But we willl save that one for another day By the way red rocks amp is awesome go if you can people....Saw JAck Johnson there he was great better then gorge
outdoorsguy562000 says: After having looked through your pics and having seen some of the things your have it baffles me your view of portland.Yes there are some wonderful places out there then why wouldn't you just pack up and work in a hmmm moab brewery making mini wage and loving life??I met some great people there as well as in dinosuar utah,parts of idaho,montana.DUDE if youe co shuts down go suck the marrow out of life ,DONT be a a little mean yuppie prick who thinks that only his toys rock ,IT MAKES ME WANT TO WIPE MY ASS ON YOUR TRUCK.....you need to chill and lose your rocky mtn high
GrowMoreHemp says: Oregon is full of un-American, homo-hating, black-hating, Constitution-hating, scared of the world, white people. They disobey the Constitution with anti-homo laws that in fact, don't exsist (legally under our Constitution). There are more church's and bars than anywhere else, and the sex industry is legendary. Only 40-50 years ago, you would see black men hanging from the telephone poles on your way west to the ocean. The mentality here hasn't changed. Only been "white-washed". If you are downtown, you will see the cops shaking down black, indian and hispanic kids. White kids with pockets full of cash and drugs just cruise on down to some crackhouse coffee shop. "It's cool dude"
Young people in Portland are just as stupid as the adults. Either they hate everything and everyone, or they are complete cowards. No backbone - no Constitution.
I had lived here about 1 year. My friend and I had 2 beers each at a bar. We stopped at Pioneer Square to people watch for a couple of minutes. A "rent-a-cop" comes up to me and made some stupid remark. I ignored him and walked away. The next thing I know, I am being tackled and thrown into a "Cheirs" van, twisted like a pretzel, and thrown into a drunk tank. I guess they need #'s to get $.
My friend didn't see a thing and thought I was missing. He called the cops to file a missing persons (we were going to a show). When I called him in the morning, he was shocked by what I told him.
He's from New Jersey. I am from Seattle. In fact, we realized that I was kidnapped that night by some neo-gov't agency. We had never heard of anything like this happening in the real cities we grew up in.. This crap happens all the time around here.
When they raised M36 (anti-homo marrage) I was amazed how many people would openly violate the 1st Amendment (church v. state) for their uneducated, church washed fear.
I am a white, hetrosexual male. In Portland though, if you are faithful to our Constitution and aren't a biggot, you are no different than any nigger, spick, engine, fag or whatever else these monsters call our fellow Citizens.
How many here knew the KKK got it's start in Oregon? In Dallas, OR they cut down the last "hangin'" tree only a few years ago. They didn't tell me when the last lynching was though.... Oregon has a very dark and evil history. The future doesn't look any brighter, unless you're white, and come from "old money" around here.
That's the way it is. That's the way they like it.
Sharon Schloss says: It's so nice that someone has finally voiced all of Portland's problems for me. You took the words right out of my mouth. I came here because I could afford to live here and work part time while pursuing my music. I came from Los Angeles, where rents were skyrocketing, crime was bad, and the air was polluted. I had high hopes when I came to this externally beautiful city, which I thought would be liberal and progressive. Now, I can't even get a stupid barista job because I bathe and have a nice sense of style. I used to be able to play my music in fun clubs in L.A. and now I can't get a show in the crappy, filthy, dank hellholes they have here. And they really need some good music! I think people here hate modern electronic sounds and like music that they feel like they could make too, so they can feel like "everyone's a rock star." I am sick of seeing the sloppy, obese, unwashed masses that infect this city. I am sick of my redneck neighbors, who burn garbage in their backyards and slap vinyl siding on their houses. No one here cares about art, and that's why no one has pushed our art museum (one of the only good things in this city) to lower their astronomical $15 admission and offer a free Thursday night once a month. The museum here is designed to keep everyone but the rich out. A big reason that Portland cannot improve is because of the defensive attitude of the people here. They cannot take an ounce of criticism, nor do they want to learn from the successes of other American cities. It is just like when you're driving here and honk at someone for doing something dangerous and they just honk back. I call it "the Portland honk-back," when people lash out at any critique in an effort to stay stupid and keep this city with so much potential down. Stop saying "people from L.A. are assholes." I have met so many nice friends living there, and in the five years I have lived here, I have made 4 friends, 2 of whom I don't even like. Now you're all going to say, "go back to L.A.!" Right?
PORTLAND BLACK STONE says: portland only sucks if your black. im tired of telling people about why, so if you wanna know why i sa it, go find a black neighborhood. oh yeah, there isnt any anymore
underwhelmed says: My move to Portland was not a matter of choice, as it involved a corporate transfer which I could only turn down at my economic peril. I had heard terrible things about the weather, but had decided to generally keep an open mind. Yes, the weather is horrifically depressing, but soon after my arrival, I realized the God-forsaken damp was the least of my worries. I possess a combination of traits which most Portlanders regard as basically evil. I call them the Three Cs, Conservative, Christian, and Californian.
(You could actually add a fourth: Capitalist)
For clarity's sake here, I'm not including in my comments all the meth-heads, drunks, homeless, and other various and sundry riff-raff. These I scrupulously avoid. Suffice it to say that I travel in more elevated circles, and so encountered a different kind of devolved human. I refer to them as the Crypto-Facist Lefties. Like it or lump it, they run this drizzly outpost, and if you are anything but an overt CFL, and you want any kind of social life outside of steak and cigars at El Goucho's, you best keep your values, leanings, and opinions to yourself. Well-mannered gentlemen like myself loathe scenes, and imbecilic confrontation. So we go along to get along, playing down our true selves, waiting to hear how many nano-seconds into a conversation will elapse before we start hearing that Bush and Cheney orchestrated 9/11, oh, and Katrina. It must be said that lots of these CFL are, at heart,
good people. They'll give you the Gore-Tex off their backs, right up until the time they find out you might not be one of them. Then it is strange to watch them squirm, blanch, and struggle to remain polite only so long at it takes them to blow you off. Look, I speak in generalities here, and there are always glowing exceptions to any rule. Often these exceptions prove the rule. Another aspect of Portland that is related to the previous, is the preponderance of homosexuality and lesbianism. You can't eat downtown without a lesbian waitress, some pierced version of Saturday Night Live's "Pat", coming across rudely when you ask if they have a "ranch" dressing. I've heard it called the Pink Mafia, by certain sad-sack SOB's I've known who married uber-liberal women. It is so bad that hetrosexual women here can actually be dissappointed if they find out you're straight. With regard to gay men, well, they're anything but. While I've tried to be accepting, even deferential, the subtext of rage which characterizes most homosexuals I've had truck with here is remarkable. Multiply all the above tenfold since greater Oregon's defeat of homosexual marriage.
Goverment in Portland, as previous posters have attested, is reactionary, phobic, hideously insular (like a bunch of Catholic preist covering up a scandal), and inept to the point of evoking fear amongst the cognizant populace. They passed homosexual marriage without a referendum, have driven families--the lifeblood of any city--out in droves, and declared a "safe haven" for illegal aliens while refusing to cooperate with the Fed's on Homeland Security.
Lastly, I believe Portland is basically insecure about its place in the urban pantheon, thus the smugness. The CFLs are
xenophobic, elitist wolves in the sheep's clothing of egalitarianism. More importantly, as recent think-pieces in the Oregonian and Willamette Week have pointed out, time is passing Portland by. Everybody knows those red-state suburbs around the city more aptly reflect where things are headed. Retirees, dirt-poor, under-employed young people, and aging hipsters make up the future of Portland's rainy streets, her caffeine and micro-brew-laced enclaves. Note about the hipsters: After ten years I'm still confused
on this one, probably showing my age. In my day, the hipsters where Rat Pack guys like Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Junior, Bobby Darin and Frank Sinatra. I see hippies here, not hipsters. It may be just a matter of terminology, but Frank Sinatra used to have chunks of towns like Portland in his stool.
One area where I disagree with the Portland- bashers: traffic. Coming from California, I find the slow pace and lack of any real grid lock (yet) to be definite plusses.
Lest others think that I am some bitter, reclusive loser who has fallen on bad times here, quite the contrary.I have thrived, by working hard, avoiding government whenever possible, and keeping my opinions to myself.
It must be said: I have made good friends (most of them some variation on the CFL theme), had great times, and met wonderful, loving women.
But speaking as a three-C kind of guy, who has just endured the rainiest February since 1953 (with bone-chilling winds the rest of the time), I must say that as retirement looms, and I look off into my own future, I am struck with a peculiar sense of longing, for something different, something warmer, more traditionally American, more Christian,
and less self-consciously decadent.
It will be a bittersweet goodbye, certainly, with a nod to all I've learned and experienced here, but a farewell nonetheless.
To those who will say "Good riddance" upon my departure, I say, you've haven't changed a bit.
Chris says: All I know is that I moved here 3 years ago and landed the best job I've ever had, made a handful of very good friends, and have generally had a blast. I love SF and NYC, but I also love living in an affordable city that is not out-of-control huge. As far as the whole hipster thing goes, it seems like more and more people are willing to completely dismiss and damn to hell anyone who is young and looks like they've put some thought into their wardrobe. Get over it. Everyone thinks everyone else is a hipster.
As far as the rain goes, yes it can suck and be depressing. You can either deal with that or you can't. I don't mind it so much.
For everyone who hates this place, sorry it didn't work out for you. Better luck somewhere else.
B says: IVE NEVER LIVED IN A AREA WHERE THE PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID AND BEHIND THE TIMES AS THE PEOPLE IN OREGON!!!!!!!!!!
AT LEAST GO BACK AND GET YOUR GED'S FOR GOD SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yo says: portland so sucks
The Raiser says: I so Hear this article. Portland has got to be the most depressing city I have ever been to. I have lived here for Two years now and I can say honestly that I have seen cities in Mexico that are less opressed. First off The weather It does rain Most of the year. Man I came from Fricken Salt Lake City For Cryen Out loud And even Though it Got very coldDuring the winter months at least you were dry. Here It rains and stops rains and stops but everything stays wet for weeks on end. Second The Government is so corrupt and spend so many tax dollers on wastful things that the entire city has lost its way tofuncion properly. Schools close on a constant basis, there are somany homless people here that that they actually built their own village and the city actually aproves of it. The taxes are realy bad here as well No sales tax (whoopity doo) But Hight income tax, multinomah county tax, and even taxes from gambling revenue from lottery and in bar slotmachines can't seem to keep schools opeen, feed the needy or even pave the fickin road. Evey prtlander puffs up their chest at their great max line but the roads are in such sorry shape that they look like they were last paved over in 1979 some time. Some of the potholes in this town cout hide a honda civic in and have not been repaird in the two years that I have been here. Whats even more rediculous is I have actualy seen signs warning of rough road due to such poorly kept roads when it would proably bee more effective just to fix the road. These problems Happen in portland and yet there never seems to be and end to city run festivales, parades and marathons. Most cities have such events but in oregon it seems that at least once evey other week we have to have some parade, demonstation,marathon or festivle. In fact I find the american spirit in this city totaly diminished. In that Cinco de mayo the mexican independance day party in this town lasted five freaken days along with a carinval, festival foods, and moor booz than marti gras but when july came around we got a pathetic 40 minute fire works show. I'm not against the people of mexican heritage or any thing but it seemed just a little rediculous that a non american holiday got more attention simply as an exceuse to get rip roaring drunk and totaly high. Which seems to bee the only thing people do in this town. They also tatally reject big business because they want to be unique and divese. They're agument is that large corperations puh out small business and take away jobs. Wake up people large businesses create jobs. I gaurentee one super target will creat more jobs that 15 coffee shops which is just how unique portland is. Block apon block of Coffee shops and pubs Starbuks and Miller light sighns wow that is real unique. It creats that wonder ful lifestyle of Getting Shitfaced Drunk at Night and having ample Coffee so that it is possble to stumble into work in the morning and cope. Portland is also extremly fitlthy. trash all over the street. homless lining most streest asking for change and then cursing you if you don't give tehm change wether you have it or not. On the other hand People activly try to keep the land around them as green as possible, wich I can understand but it is to such a degree that no tres can be torn down at all for any purpose. anybody who has driven the twiliger curves know how curvy and dangerous that part of the freeway is the reason for this is because they wanted to conserve as many rees as possible, so instead of clearing the trees to make way fro the freeway they built the freeway around the trees. IN the end I am glad that I am trying to get out of this sewer. The people are stuborn and try to push their political opinion on you. the town stinks from all the urin from people pissing in doorways becaus nobody will alow you to use a public restroom because the homeless are so bad they abuse the privlage. I have to get a perscription from my docter to by Nyquell Liqicaps because the meth situation is so bad that the government has started to ban over the counter drugs.The jobs pay low yet the avrage studio condo with about 500 square feet will run you 225,000+ dollars in buildings that were built at the turn of the cenury. My recomendation if you want a great city move to Las Vegas at least the pay is high and taxes are low or if you don't like the heat try Boise, Salt lake City or Tahoe City all of these cities have more Passion more spirt and Better Weather
Stir the Pot says: Someone keeps posting this link on Portland Oregon's Craigslist Rants 'n Raves section (http://portland.craigslist.org/rnr/) and I think it's a damn hoot! It continues to stir up ALLLL the little hipster whinerzzz.
Someone over there even came up with a name for these losers: "Porkland Oregonads".
But seriously, the City of Portland is a nice clean place, or would be if it weren't for all these retards which populate the place.
Fairly Honest Bill says: Well , way ahead of the national trend today...Portland voted against electing Bush the 1st & again the second time with the highest No Bush vote in the country.. Something in the water here makes us smarter & faster then elsewhere???? When you regain your sences & move back to paradise , stop on by Fairly Honest Bill's & get you new used furniture .
RainMaker503 says: It cracks me up when people move here and complain about the weather. What, was this a freaking surprise to you?
Though I do like you people who have to complain all the time. I'm sure you bitched just as much about where ever it is you moved from.
But keep spreading the word! Hopefully the rest of the whiney loser "hate my current life and going to move to Portland" crowd will read it and stay the fuck where they are.
Have a great day.
UKNOWWHOFROMLA says: Portland is infinitely terrible. I've lived here damn near my entire life, and wouldn't be here unless my close relatives weren't here. Family is more important to me than location but all I can say is yuck! The majority of people I have encountered are terribly insecure, have a tremendous defensive complex, and no accurate worldview whatsoever. They assume I think I'm better than them because I have lived in another city, gotten a degree, and dress well. In fact, recently I was at a prominent downtown restaurant, which has snottier service than anywhere I recall ever being worldwide, and as I was leaving a group of men made some derogatory remarks, then proceeded to threaten me with assault. Now, this was completely unprovoked. I find such behavior disgusting; it doesn't matter how ignorant you are, it's the fact someone can actually act off of such a level of ignorance that perplexes me. I face criticism ANY time I remotely complain about this town, even from people who have lived here less than two months. I am not a hipster, and yes there are hipsters in many locales, but the ones anywhere else are far more accepting than the ones here. I no longer go downtown, because in fact every single time someone has picked a fight with me. I'm sick of the garbage and sick of the blatant stupidity. Sure, Portland has many interesting things--the Shanghai Tunnels, and umm....well.....I don't know. I haven't been in the snow on Mt. Hood in a decade and the coast I only visit to see friends; otherwise there isn't really any point because the water is unbearably cold. Another interesting thing is the widespread fascination with Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, generally regarded by people in other cities as horsepiss. I am harassed for spare change in Portland more often than any other city, and it doesn't matter if you're down to your last dollar, the derelicts still feel entitled to it so they can put it towards beer, meth, and cigarettes. One particular time, I remember someone wanted to fight me because I criticized Portland for being a town full of people who aren't exactly the nicest on the planet. The idiot didn't realize he had just proven my point! I spoke eloquently and respectfully, yet he felt it necessary to respond with a fist. Interesting, isn't it? It's also billed as a great place to raise children, if you can afford to put them in private school, that is. There is little to no interest in funding the public schools, as the public school I went to was chock full of kids whose parents were more interested in acquiring drugs than participate in their childrens' education. Crystal Meth is a bitch, isn't it? Oh, and people will stop 'being your friend' should you say anything remotely contrary to 'the spirit of this city', which is ultra-liberal, drug-permissive, strip club-encouraging (highest per capita in the US), blah blah blah blah. You get the point from the other comments, I didn't invent it. That is exactly how it is, and more often than not, the people who vehemently defend this city are the ones who have never left it. Again, should anyone tell me to 'leave' or 'fuck off', you've proven my point how increduously intolerant Portland is. If you were truly accepting and not so judgemental, you would engage the criticizer in dialogue as opposed to say things like 'STAY THE FUCK OUT' and 'FUCKING IDIOT FUCK MORONIC FUCKWADS' or whatever combination of juvenile name-calling they can muster. I have to agree with those who take offense by the criticism though; perhaps you might consider a visit, but don't bother to stay. Outsiders are obviously not appreciated overall and chances are you simply won't enjoy the lifestyle and available options that come with living here. And if you do visit, visit in January--don't be fooled by August weather.
Some sane person says: *looks up*
As you can plainly see, it's the IDIOTS WHICH POPULATE PORTLAND which are the root cause of the problem. They are liberals for the most part, and cannot mount any logical rebuttal. I'll say it again: PORTLAND is a BEAUTIFUL place. It's a shame that it is overrun by so many inbred idiots.
Orson Welles taint says: http://portland.craigslist.org/rnr/
You have to remember that the lobotomized reprobates who post infantile fanny humor on Craigslist Portland R&R all day have now found a new venue for their insipid, vapid retardation. By the way, no other city in the US has a "(US City) Sucks" page devoted to it - only Portland, Oregon. It's really sad - this would be a very nice place, rain and all, if it weren't for the cataclysmically retarded basement dwellers who infest the place.
Frank says: I like it here. If you don't, that's fine. I've been to Colorado, and I didn't like it there much myself. To each there own.
JailBlazers future doubtful! says: Billionaire Paul Allen's spokesman said Thursday the future of the Portland Trail Blazers is in doubt after Allen's investment managers estimated the team stands to lose more than $100 million over the next three years.
Lance Conn, who heads Vulcan Capital, Allen's investment firm, told The Associated Press in an interview that "all options are on the table" because "the economic model is broken."
Allen has lost more than $12 billion on various investments in the past decade, and his NBA team has been hemorrhaging money for much of that time.
The Microsoft co-founder had to sell off his interest in the Rose Garden Arena, the home of the Blazers, after the company that ran it, Oregon Arena Corp., declared bankruptcy.
Conn told AP that Allen has decided it is time to cut his losses with the Trail Blazers — or find a new way to finance the team.
"No business person could justify these kinds of losses continuing," Conn said
Zamboni_Driver says: Portland IS overrated, face it. The hipster assholes here DO SUCK. Like any city which gets onto the national/global "in" radar, the "name brand" city vibe kicks in and voila--you have a name brand city which begins to suck despite the fact that it got on the radar to begin with becuase it was cool. Or put it this way: think of any 'hip' U.S. city: NYC, SF, LA, Seattle, or Portland: they all are "name brand" cities. Once a city becomes name brand, BAD things happen: real estate sky-rockets, they become congested, fewer good jobs--in fact they become 'employers markets' (e.g. many, many desparate workers for a single job--the employer's dream). In short, brand name cities suck. It's the fact that years ago they were GREAT. Sadly the fact that they were great attracted thousands, or millions to them--and then the SUCKED. And this is why, today Portland SUCKS. There are sooooo many desparate 20-30 something's begging for a shit job...sooooo many homeless beggars....soooo many 'other-hating' hipsters....it makes the person who moved here hoping for a shining, liberal "city in the valley" think they were lied to, and shat upon.
Be forewarned: Portland is overrated. The nightlife sucks, the city is dead after 10pm, and it is easy to project your naive hopes and dreams onto this dumpy, depressing little shitty city.
Regards,
Zamboni_Driver
Eat the homeless. They are tasty! says: I was downtown the other day at Pioneer Square and had at least 6 or 7 different mocchers come up to me and ask for a quarter so they could ride the Max. I mentioned that they were in fairless square and they didn't need to pay to ride the Max while downtown. The reaction I got was unreal - I heard several things from "Tight ass muther fucker.", "My Mom and Dad molested me so I'm homeless.", "Let me look in your wallet.". I was shocked.
Portland has more "Help" for homeless than just about anywhere in the country except for maybe San Fran or Denver. There might be some real help being given by some of the agencies but I think on the whole they are making things worse.
I, for one have had enough of the whole we have to help them because they are a "VICTIM". It's time these guys stand on thier own feet and play by societies rules. The Rescue Mission has programs that will get a person off of the street and hot food and some sort of training so they can improve themselves. They may have to wait for an openings. In the meantime they can follow the guidelines below.
Tips for a better life
1. Don't blame others for your life (or lack of)
2. Don't use drugs (even 420 - not everyone approves)
3. avoid tats on the face/neck/hands
4. avoid those giant plugs in your ears
5. avoid piercings that won't close when you come to your senses
I know it's a hard trick to pull off. I beleive you can do it. The main problem is that you have allowed yourself to beleive the lie that you are not worth it and you don't matter.
antonio says: all i can say is: Thank you.this is very true.i have been saying this for a long time.Portland sucks my cAck.
surprise! says: Obviously, the author of this page checks in regulary - I see posts disappearing from time to time - So, author? What do you think about all the Portlandia crap?
open mided transplanted oregonian says: Wow, you people scare me. Seriously. Portland is a great city if you know how to live in a city. Sure the mountain biking is a little lacking in the city limits, Powell Butte and Forest Park are about the only two places to ride, and Forest Park is not even that good. But go a little further out, no I don't mean to the Gorge or Mt Hood or Bend. All of which are WORLD class riding areas, I am talking about Hagg Lake or Brown's Camp or Molalla for that matter. There is a great book called 50 great Mountain bike rides within an hour of Portland. As far as the weather goes, uit your whining and buy some rain gear. Just because it rains you weekend warriors think you are going to melt if you go out in it. Whaaa. The music scene here is great, but you have to know where to look. Try the WW for starters. Then look at the venues websites to see when your favorite band is coming to town. I read the music scene sucks, that's why U2 ended their tour here isn't it. Name a band, a big band and I bet 9 out of 10 of them will play here. Art, are you kidding me, some of the best art is here in Portland. "Its only for the rich..." whaa. If you were an artist that is who you would want looking at and buying your work. Buying being the key word there. Sure the city government needs a lot of work, but name one city that doesn't. I love the way all the haters make up words. Libertard, I mean come on, if you are going to use a made up a word at least be original and make up your own word. The traffic over the last 10 years has gotten extremely bad, thanks to so many people moving here from out of state. The issue isn't that we have too many asshole drivers its that we have to many drivers period. And the whole pump you own gas or not thing, come on get a little deeper than a thimble. We still have decent gas prices compaired to the rest of the US and it is a way to create jobs. Sorry you have to wait a little to get your gas. Again Whaa. Instead of putting so much time and effort into bitching you should look at ways to improve the situation. Don't complain about a problem unless you have a recommendation to fix it. Otherwise it is just more useless bitching. I do want to thank the Californian contingent for all of the beautiful ladies that you have been sending us though. It's great to have so much more eye candy around town these days. Thanks, it is probably one of the few good things you brought with you when you all decided to move here. Oh yeah and to the guy who doesn't think there is a lot of outdoors activities around here, you just need to remove your self from infront of the TV and go explore. Have you heard of Opal Springs? Less than 45 minutes away and one of the most beautiful old growth forests in the world. How far do you have to drive from LA, or SF to find real old growth? How about from Denver, or Salt Lake, Las Vegas or NYC. The water at the coast is too cold. Again Whaa. Its called a wet suit. And all the talk about hipsters, well thanks to the folks that moved here from places like SF and NYC and LA we have more than our fair share, and they brought their attitude. Don't even try to tell me that New Yorkers have a better attitude, or even any of the Los Angeles fakers. Sure there are a lot of "Spangers" (that's Spare changers for the slow folks) here and I am amazed to see them at every on and off ramp to every highway from here to Hillsboro. They aren't in Wilsonville or Lake Oswego, or the Couv. Know why? Well let me tell you. Because the people in LO or Wilsonville or the Couv don't keep giving these people money. That's right people we all need to get together on this one. If we stop giving these people money they will move on. Shit lets do it the way they do in Vegas, buy them all a one way Greyhound ticket to Portland, I mean SF, or LA.
The guy that says someone tries to get in a fight with you every time you go out, take a hint, there is something you do to make people hate you. I suggest meditating and looking at yourself and your attitude more deeply. I have lived here for over 20 years and have never had anyone try to start a fight totally unprovoked. I am not saying that I haven't had a few scraps, just that there was an exchange of words prior to any fists flying. So check yourself and let your ego take a walk and you wont have this problem. If you try to provoke someone they will fight, if you are truely minding your own business no one will bother you.
There are drug problems here for sure, afew years ago it was heroin, now its meth so if you are having issues with people in your neighborhood making and using these drugs, move away from Gresham, Silverton, Oregon City, Mollala, the Felony flats (if you know this city you know where this is) of SE PDX, there are better parts of town that are as affordable as those places.
Strip clubs, well the person who posted more per capita than anywhere else, check your facts. It is more per square mile than any other city in the US, and again, just like the spanging issue, if people didn't go to them they wouldn't be here.
All in all people, you get what you put in. Look at our Federal government. We put in no effort and they keep F'ing everything up because lets face it who ever is in power is corrupt, Republican or Democrat. They are politicians its what they do. So if you don't like Portland, you don't like Portland. I wish you good luck on your search to find a better place to live. I for one love this city and plan on staying for a very long time. I do go to the mountains (plural there genius since we have not only the Cascades, but also the coast range to play in very close by and I wont even start talking about the mountains in Eastern OR, or Southern OR), I do go to the coast, it is a rugged coast for rugged people or at least not the timid. You are an hour away from mountains and an hour away from the coast, for me perfect and I grew up 20 minutes from Tahoe.
And all this talk about people not bathing, come on get real, are you the guys at the shelter or what. Change your circle of friends or something. Smell of urine? Have you been in NYC, or LA? How about Bangkok, or Calcutta? I have and they are much worse. So you haters go on hating. I would suggest some anti-depresants, but I think a bullet would be better for you all, because if your not working to fix the problems, you are just part of the problems.
Peace, out!
Tim says: Wow....being a native Portlander and reading the original poster's diatribe of Portland...I must admit he is quite right. This city is simply way, way overrated. From the ridiculous over taxing at the city and state level, to the poor job prospects, to the arrogant asshole hippies and dead heads that litter our streets, my good old hometown is just not what it's cracked up to be! And yes, the weather here is dismal and depressing. 45 degrees and drizzly for 9 months out of the year basically blows. What's more, the arrogant liberal vibe here is so thick you can cut it with a knife. Their self-righteous views are the perfect mirror image of Phil O'Reilly or Tucker Carlson any day! Both the extreme lefties and the extreme righties of this day and age are a turn off. I'm not gonna right an effin' novel like the tweaker right above me did...but suffice it to say Portland, like Seattle farther north is a rather mediocre average, to below-average city with a misleading and waaaay overblown "public image"--that keeps luring in dummies from near and far...who usually come here, stay a year or two....then leave realizing this place kinda sucks.
Moving West... says: Hey people,
I'm currently deciding to move out west and am debating whether to go to San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, or Vancouver. Any suggestions?
your_name says: Moving West...
At this point in time I would say Seattle or Vancouver (BC i assume)
The author of this page is EXACTLY on the money when it comes to Portland.
I am looking to get out myself mainly because of the weather, traffic and people. (I prefer sun even though it is pretty here)
Oregonians who refuse to admit that the city does suck will never change.
I once told a friend that Portland is horrible but everything OUTSIDE of Portland is great.
I have lived here for 4 years now and I have kept trying to convince myself that it is nice here.
I have people from all over the country come into town and they all say the same thing this poster says.
The people who defend Portland seem to have similar lifestyles.
Long hair, wearing sweat pants, smokes pot, loves rain, thinks their cool, tries way to hard to be "different" when in reality they are doing the same as everyone else and have never been out of Portland.
I wish that Portland people and weather were a little better, this could be a great place.
Another Transplant to an Oregonian says:
I moved to this State back in 1998, I moved to the Portland area in 2000! I lived in Colorado (prior to moving to Oregon) for 17 years, before that I lived in Ohio. Prior to that it was all over the Country and World (Father was in the military for 20+ yrs). I have come to find that my move to Oregon (Portland area) was the place for me. Just like any other place around this Country and/or World there are issues and events that reflect in a negative way.
I have been to a place called Crater Lake National Park (National Park Service), OMG, the most beautiful place that I have seen (mind you I am not fond of heights), but I jump that 20’ cliff without hesitation (water was a little cold, but what can you expect in the middle of the summer with the Crater filled with water that was produced by the snow fall) Awesome Place!.
I have been to Multnomah Falls & Historic Columbia River Highway (drove the length of that on my vacation to Colorado and back home again), Awesome Place also. So when I hear about this that and the other things bad about Portland, I just have to Laugh to myself.. My fiancé is a Home Grown Oregonian, to be honest with you; I have seen more beautiful things being with her than I have seen in my life (BTW I am 42), which also includes the 17+ yrs spent (in Colorado) and all over the Country and World. Colorado, also very pretty, but NOTHING BEATS PORTLAND OREGON. I am with-in an hour from the Mountains and Coast! These are just two of the locations (not counting the others that I have been to also) that I have found Awesome.
I also wanted to comment on the Government Issue that someone spoke of; the fact is that all Governments (Local, State, and Federal, also Foreign Countries Governments) all need some work! If you want to make that change then do something about it and stop complaining!
This other statement that crossed these pages was something to the effect of the skies is gray and dull and that the rain is always around! Actually the skies are very cool in the winter, summer spring and fall! The Sky’s at night are just to die for (yes, when the skies are clear of course)!
Someone also referred to the word ‘enlightenment’; I have never in all my years been so overwhelmed by the enlightenment as in the Spiritual Energy that I get from being in OREGON!! So for you to say that your really were not ‘Enlightened’ at all! Maybe you need to be tuned in and/or tuned up! Maybe you just cannot be tuned into anything, maybe you cannot be tuned up to anything at all, but those would be my opinions and views on the subject of Enlightenment.
What’s that old saying they say about the USA; if you don’t like it, then leave it!
So if you don’t like it then leave it, Portland does not need the negative vibes that you produce!
Just a few thoughts to anyone, everyone, someone, and no one! In no way do I mean disrespect to anyone, everyone, someone and no one! I hope that those of you that have chosen to leave find a place that makes you as happy and humble as I am here in the Great State of Oregon (Portland area)!!
A Transplant, Now an Oregonian
Thinking of moving says: For people who have lived in Portland for a while and own your own business: Was it difficult to get started there? I'm researching the possibility of opening an herbal cafe in the Hawthorne District. Would something like that be well-recieved there?
For you Seasonal Affective Disorder sufferers: I've had SAD for quite a few years but lived in Atlanta and Florida and was able to cope. How do YOU cope with all that cloud cover?
Does anyone live in a Float Home? My husband and I both LOVE the idea of living right on the water with all that wildlife right there.
What "exactly" is a hipster? I like dressing well and going to chic restaurants, etc. Would that make me a hipster? Of course at 39, being a tree hugging dirt muncher (vegetarian except for seafood), I don't know how hip I could possibly be.
Please email me at the above addy. My husband and i are flying out for our first research visit on March 24th, so any and all suggestions on what to see and where to go would be greatly appreciated.
Thinking of moving says: I should have mentioned that I have some conservative political views and listen to talk radio (ie Shaun Hanity and Neal Boortz) Does that make me a candidate for shooting in Portland? But I'm also Bi, so that may even things out.
Another Transplant to an Oregonian says: says: Well actually the business that you are thinking about may work in that part of town!
If you read my post just before yours you will see my opinion of Portland.. Not that it matters, but you have to have a taste for rain.. Just some thoughts!!
2 entries found for hipster.
hip·ster ( P ) Pronunciation Key (hpstr)
n. Slang
One who is exceptionally aware of or interested in the latest trends and tastes, especially a devotee of modern jazz.
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Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
hipster
n : someone who rejects the established culture; advocates extreme liberalism in politics and lifestyle [syn: hippie, hippy, flower child]
Source: WordNet ® 2.0, © 2003 Princeton University
Another Transplant to an Oregonian says: Oh and your views on politics more and likely will fit in! Then with the added bonus of your sexual preference,is hella Cô¿ôL! You surely will fit in!! Nothing wrong with being Bi, just means you have best of both!
Portland my be lame says: While Portland is certainly not it is all cracked up to be and kinda sucks, on the flip side the natural beauty of this region is outstanding. One has to distinguish the people here from the natural bounty of the Pac Northwest.
BeyondPdx says: God, I could not agree with this person more. I think Portland is the most overrated city in the country. Besides the beauty of the city and the surrounding area, there really isn't much to it. It's actually a pretty boring and depressing place. The nightlife sucks, the weather makes you want to slit your wrists, and the locals are about as fun as a box of bricks. Dare you criticize their grey little utopia without them freaking out and demanding you to leave at once. Funny, if you really think Portland is so great, why do you give a rat's ass when someone criticizes it? Answer: Because it's all you know and it's all you got. Grow up. It's just a small city like any other. And no, (contrary to poplular belief), the rest of the country is not trying to move here.
Damn bicyclist scofflaws says: These in-your-face elitist, spandex-clad idiots (represented by the militant Critical Mass) actually go out of their way to disrupt downtown Portland's vehicular traffic. THEY DO IT ON PURPOSE and the cocksuckers don't seem to understand that WE, the vehicle drives, PAY for the roads they so blissfully clog up with our gas taxes!! The next little shiny-spandex freak that cuts me off is going to get a the contents of my asstray in his face!!! >:((
aquariusmoon says: I moved up to Oregon from California when I was 13 in 1980,and ended up in a very small town,near the Oregon coast.It was the best thing that happened to me.It was funny because,5 out of the 6 girls in my class were from California too.Some of my good friends to this day.When I graduated,I moved to Portland,and thought it was such a cool,mysterious city.It had this unique charm about it.So I basically lived there until 1996 where I moved to San Francisco and am currently residing.It's funny that I ran across this,because I am now making my big decision on where to relocate for good.No more of the gypsy lifestyle for me.So now I am deciding on moving back to Portland and starting a small business.I miss the quaintness of P-land,the fresh air,the green scenerey,and after being gone for so long and living downtown S.F.it's these little things that you miss.Sure,S.F has a few more things to see and do,but overall,the quality of life really sucks here.The homeless population is out of control,crackheads left and right.The nighlife sucks here too.Things close down way early,and everyone at the clubs are so unapproachable,it's like one big high school dance gone bad.Driving,well that's one thing I have never done here and never will.The one good thing about S.F.it's a tiny city and everything is very close and convenient.As mentioned before in other posts,every city/town has their share of problems to different degrees.Unfortunetly,that's something we can't escape.As far as making friends in S.F.well all I can say is that it is tough.Most people that move here are transient,and nothing ever seems permenent here.It seems to be either the "financial set" or the struggling artist/musician type.Not too much more in between.People here are flaky as hell,most are bullshitters.Coming from Oregon,I learned what real people are all about.So I carried that with me throughout.I miss the realness and straightforwardness of the people up north.Portland has never felt like a city too me and probably never will,maybe that's the appeal.I've been to NYC,Miami,Las Vegas,Pheonix,New Orleans,(talk about the most depressing city of all,and that was before Katrina).I have been to all the major cities in California and there are certainly some of the most beautiful coastal towns down here.San Diego was my only other choice to move.I think it's probably the most desirable place out of all the places I've been.But there is just something about Portland that keeps drawing me back.Maybe it's just that city living has finally gotten the best of me.I need something a little more soothing to my soul.Portland seems to offer a little bit of everything I need,and if I need a quick get away it's just a short flight pretty much anywhere.So,it's on to the next chapter of my life.Ciao California!
Vincent says: Ya know I really couldn't agree more on Portland's people, government, drivers...I happen to like the shitty weather surprisingly enough.
Gosh...yeah...I still live here btw and...I almost cried with joy when I read your piece on the city goverment's won tan spending on the 'fine arts' while shit pore's into the river when ever it rains to much.
Oh and Randy Leonard wants to ban smoking though I wonder why I should quit smoking when I'm drinking shit all day?
I also hate the materialistic, 'worldly', artsy hipsters that all over the place... I've seen some wearing Islamic headdresses to be 'sheik' I guess... little do they know, or care that Islam makes Pat Robertson look like a liberal.
Ah well..I'm done...your right...your right... I'm going back to Astoria.
BeyondPdx says: Almost forgot, the worst thing about the natives - they're humorless.
THis is all true says: I've lived here in Portland for 3 years. I moved from Long Beach California, so it was a huge change.
I HATE IT HERE!
The only thing I do like is the rain. I love rain. The more the merrier.
But the people are horrible. The police and laws here are horrible! The traffic is horrible! The summers are hot, dry and oh yeah, horrible!
Whatever. There are a couple things I still like. Being able to carry a blade of any lenth (my 13 inch M9 Bayonet for example) as long as it's not hidden. Being able to carry a switchbalde. Oh but I only carry these things because of the meth junkies. Yeah thats one thing he didnt mention.
Portland is FULL of junkies!
Larry Beria says: Cheer up, at least you don't live in Russia.
nativeportlander says: I came upon this site accidently. I grew up in Portland. The weather is depressing-I hated the long 9 (sometimes 11) month DARK winter. It was OK growing up in- but I wouldn't recommend it for transplants. Portlanders just aren't as friendly as other people- I'm not sure if it is the weather or something else. I didn't notice it growing up, but I moved back after college (because like many portlanders I was brainwashed into believing Portland was the "best" place to live) for a year and found it next to impossible to make NEW (non high school) friends. Most of the interesting people I grew up with moved away. People in Portland are just not very interested in forming new relationships. And some of the "native" people in the Portland Heights area are insanely snobby. People on the Upper East Side of New York are more welcoming- it's just bizarre that people from a small city are so convinced they are "blue blood". As for the "hipster" complaints- I'm VERY liberal, but I have a clean cut look. Based solely on my looks "hipsters" called me "yuppie scum", spat at me, and often tried to start fights. Oregon is a pretty state-particularly Central Oregon- but Portland is a tough place to move to unless you have connections there. I've lived in D.C., L.A., Dallas, and S.F.- each of these cities was more "fun" than Portland (the fact that Dallas was more fun should tell you something). If you enjoy spending every saturday afternoon in a bookstore and every Friday evening in a damp bar, you will like portland. If you like outgoing friendly people, I can't recommend it.
Battlestar Traffica says: What the fuck? I've been living here for almost a year and am stunned by the way people drive here.
Why do you drive so fucking slow? Why is the right lane going 45 on 26 and the left lane barely going 55? Why the fuck, on 217, near the Dennis exit, do all you assholes get scared of the merging and hop into the left lane, causing traffic to back way the fuck up to walker.
WHY, when it rains, do you FUCKING drive like you've never driven in rain before? It rains all the damn time here and you act like it's a NEW driving condition!! Pisses me off. Why the fuck? It wasn't raining that bad today, yet everyone is breaking and driving slower than a fucking scooter.
And don't get me started when it snows. Fuckers actually stopping their cars and getting out to stare at the sky. It's SNOW. And not even a lot of it!! It's easy to drive in! But no, you assholes continue to slam on your breaks in the worst possible driving conditions. Real bright, slamming on your breaks 10 times in 30 seconds when there "could" be ice on the fucking ground. That's how people die - so learn to drive fuckheads!
And then the hills. Why, going to downtown on 26, do you assholes break like you are going down at some HUGE slope. You fuckheads do this on 217 too. I can take that entire hill at 80MPH in my shitty little car without hitting the break once. You don't need to fucking break all the time. Because when YOU fucking break, the car behind you (even if he's 60 feet away) feels the need to break.
You people are one of the shittiest fucking drivers I've had to share the road with. And you are so proud of your mass transit system. It's shit. Tri-Met really fucking blows. It's hardly great compared to other great cities with decent working mass-transit. So fuck you Tri-Met too.
Parsifal says: Driving in Portland is a hideous never ending nightmare.
If a Portland driver sees a leaf hit the road six blocks
ahead he or she will pull the car to the side of the road.
turn off the ignition, get our of the car and pray for the
leafs safety to the eternal nature gods. For chrissakes
put ONE of these idiots on Fifth Avenue in Manhattan at
5 pm on a Friday and the other drivers would run them
off the road, pull them out of there Prius, beat them
senseless and steal their car. And They Would Deserve
It. Bums. LIBERAL FASCISTS! Politically Correct Eggheads
all you care about is your self-image. GET OFF YOUR
ASS!
Publisher says: Dude - you should write a book. This essay is becoming VERY popular around Portland. You'll have enough material collected here in another month or so to write an anthology.
Portland Oregon sucks in so many ways I cannot begin to list them all. We were talking about bad drivers (one of whom I nearly got t-boned by on Lovejoy and 21st when they ran the light as I was turning, and it was some stupid bitch yacking on a cell phone) at Coffeetime, and THIS SITE was mentioned! So, people are talking about Knick-Knack in Portland.
Rex says: Agree with the OP. Lived up there 15 years, hated all but the first 9 months. Liked the people okay, and the politics were then liberal enuf for me, but the weather will drive you fucking insane.
Theo says: GAWD YES! I may be a native Oregonian, but the nanny state laws, tax extortion, anti-business, anti-car, tree-hugging, wife-swapping, beeding heart FREAKS are forcing me to rethink my geography.
Thanks for an essay that says most (if not all) of it!
erriblet says: I only saw six reasons, the author said there were eight. I already know Oregon sucks though.
itchy-scratchy says:
How can we have a news story about the crappy blazers looking for $50mil from Portland and then follow it up with a cell phone tax because of the "schools". It sounded like it won't even get a public vote. How can that be?? Yet we turn down a bail us out bid from the casinos because we didn't want one in Portland. Come on people get a fucking clue. This city is just stupid and it is getting worse. Watching the news just sickens me with the amount of ignorant politicians and schools officials. Here's an idea, everyone is the school district above a teacher level take a 3% pay cut...damn big businesses do it all the time, I'm a manager and haven't had a raise in 3 years because of down markets. I totally believe our teachers need help but the admins are where we need to look at. Peace out...oh yeah fuck the sea lions shoot them.
hung says: I am Mr. Oregon Hung at Hotmail. I challenge ANYBODY who puts Portland down to meet me at the Sellwood docks for a little attitude adjustment! I'm tired of people dissing my city!
donkoopman says: I enjoyed your site very much. I lived in Portland from the age of 3 to 37. I should have moved much sooner. Portland was not all bad, but, as I lounge beside the pool on another beautiful sunny day in southern Nevada, I can't help but smile knowing that as God is my witness I will never live in Portland again! By the way, I threw eggs at some war protesters in front of the Federal Building downtown. It must have been around 1997 or so (Gulf war I). Did anyone get hit by one of those eggs, or know someone who did?
Wayout Wade says: I have lived in 10 different cities, in 7 states. I also worked as a consultant and spent 14 long months in Oregon, split half in Eugene and half in Portland.
It's a mixed bag:
I am a fairly open minded Democrat, yet I was uncomfortable with the open ended socialists & far left that tend to reside in Western Oregon. The weather-from Mid July to Mid September it's absolutely gorgeous, I love it. Its the rest of the year that's bad. Hey I've lived in the East, and not felt that damp cold ass ground chilling, cold that you get in Oregon. The dreary, overcast, drizzle is mind numbing and depressing. There is a dearth of warmth from stranger than is experienced by nearly everyone I've met who move to Oregon from other states. I feel confident this is a reality, since associates and friends were from such varied states as Arkansas, New Jersey, Georgia, California, Nevada, & Texas. "People aren't very friendly". This is a reality, deal with it. You can't fucking drive. This is especially true in Eugene & Springfield, lazy ass driving and mental fog seem to be the problem. The whole full service gas thing drives me nuts. A simple act of getting gas, takes 20 minutes instead of 5. Don Koopman, props to you for your action at the protestors. In 2003, I challenged a couple of over aggressive war protesters (who were jumping on a ladys car) to fight, these guys turned tail and ran. On the plus side, loved U of O, met some nice coeds.
niteskunq says: Daaang! whatta hub-bub about nothing.
Sure, some aspects of PDX and Orygun are bizzare or overrated, but as an Goner-expat living in the special hell this is known as Kalifornia, I can attest to the superb quality of livin that is Portland. On the other hand - it's definitely not for everyone. Which is the way it should be! Fuck - I tell everyone down here in the gay bay area that Oregon is a miserable, miserable rainy fucked up pretentious bassackward Leeeeeberral pussy ass hippy infested drugged out mess. Fuck 'em. Keep em out. Tell everyone PDX sux! So they will stay away! And meantime, please make it soo miserable for the invaders that they do move out! AWSOME!!!!
nativeportlander says: Just to add- everyone is NOT moving to Oregon. Go to any growing city in America and you will find people from all around the country and the world. This phenomena is not unique to Oregon. In most places it is not considered "evil" to simply be born somewhere else. Only in Portland have I met such dislike for people simply based upon where they are born. Portland doesn't have a larger crop of newcomers compared to most growing cities- it simply has a greater percentage of strange locals that place an absurd importance on where you are born. Who gives a crap? Seriously, grow up. In San Francisco, D.C., L.A., New York, Dallas, etc., people don't care where you are born, they will be friends with you based on what kind of person you are. I think the Portland weather does something to people- Finland is know for having the shyest population in the world, but Portland can't be too far behind.
PocaFellatio says: Now I see why everytime another car with an Oregon license plate crosses the border we cringe.
Can this be an actual representation of the people of Oregon or have I entered into the Porkland Oregonad Matrix?
The last time I saw an Oregonion they were smashing a window at a business in downtown Seattle. They said they were "anarchists" from Eugene who had traveled to Seattle to spead the word. So I asked the guy "why do you cover your head with a black hood in order to spread the word" and he said "like, uh, dude, we're from Oregon."
I think I am beginning to understand what he meant!
THE TRUTH! says: I moved here from L.A. BIG mistake! I was screwed when it came time to do taxes! Also, very many white racist old red necks and then a bunch of young lazy hippie complainers who dont do shit. LA is WAYYY fucking better! Yeah its expensive but I swear to god its MUCH EASIER TO GET A JOB that pays GOOD if youre not a fucking idiot! Fact1: Portland sucks for work! Fact2: The weather sucks! Fact3: The Local Government here are outright criminals! Fact4: The public school system here SUCKS! Fact5: This is the WHITEST city I have ever seen. (Im Black, and the only black person in my neighborhood!) Now, if you like diversity, this aint the place! However ONE or TWO months out of the year here has nice weather. Oh yeah! Sure theres lots of art here, but they fucking SUCK! Go to LA or NYC and see what a REAL art scene looks like..Oh dont worry, Im already on my way back to LA where I can easily get a good job! Oh yeah, I swear to god the ugliest houses Ive ever seen are in Portland! FUCK PORTLAND! FUCK THE BURNSIDE BRIDGE! FUCK THE 84 EAST! FUCK THE 19 YEAR OLD ABLE-BODIED PANHANDLERS! AND FUCK YOU!!!
WAYOUT WADE says: You see, I bet Truth was an easy chilling dude till he moved to the land of angst. Glad you're getting out, 'cause I know what you're talking about.
portlanders_R_idiots! says: You stupid portlander's!!! never have i seen a city support bums like you idiots do. TWO AT A TIME ON EVERY CORNER, WHAT A BUNCH OF STUPID PEOPLE YOU ALL ARE. It is because of you idiots that portland looks like a tramps play ground. I am so embarASSED I do not even tell people where i live. Give your money to real causes such as sick children you half baked stupid wino supporting dimwitts. Anyone with a 5th grade education would not give a dime to these wino drugos. Guess i just hit the nail on the head. Most of you probably never even seen a class room.
Kathleen says: I love this - what a great page! I cannot stand Oregon! I will stay in Washington no matter how much property goes up!
Thank you Portland! says: Will someone please tell me where they're performing the free labotomies? I know they're free because there's no way the people on here are paying for it themselves. And that just pisses me off because ALL of the fucking taxes that I pay must produce a benefit to me at SOME point? NO?????
Who farted?
Roberto says: It's all so true. I was born here and I'll tell you that you never get accustomed to the weather, the traffic, or the horrifyingly ignorant people that populate the place. But almost none of these people are from here so I'm frightened to leave. Paralyzed with fear, I think. Or immobilized by weather-induced depression. Or just stuck in traffic.
nerdmag says: Thank you so much for this! You've said it all! I grew up here, and I'm stuck here until my youngest turns 18 (8 years) because I won't force them to change schools and I won't take them away from their father (my ex), who is a fabulous dad.
When that day comes I will be out of this hell hole. I had a very successful business that crumbled because in the last four years people have no money. We're losing our basketball team not because of their bad habit and/or bad management...but because people can't afford the luxury of going to games. It's bad! If I make a penny, someone has their hand in my pocket. There is NO WAY to get ahead here unless you're getting help or come from old money.
Most of the $12 martini drinkers that work at coffee shops like to appear poor, yet I've witnessed them calling their parents (who pay for their cell phones) and saying "Oh, no...it's okay, just send me $500 and that'll be fine." THAT is the majority of Portlanders. You absolutely cannot be a hard worker and make good money and survive here without help. "Good money" isn't good enough.
I hate it here and, although I love my children and would die for them, I live for the day when I can relax (there's no relaxing here...it's all high-stress, and that's a sucky way to raise kids) and hook up a little teardrop trailer to my '97 Civic and get the hell out.
Long haul trucker says: OREGON SUCKS , I AM A EX LONG HAUL TRUCKER SO IVE BEEN EVERY WHERE IN 10 YRS
from the boston area ,lived in texas, the dakotas ,motanna,hawaii
alaska, about every where in my 52 yrs of exploring ,,even been to nam and cuba
and you know what? oregoneions are total fucking assholes ...
you come in two speeds, ( one I wanna shoot on site) yea you fucking coffee drinking libral sleezbags ( ps. we are at WAR ) yet you sit at your fuckin key board and spew shit about the village idiot from texas
shut the fuck up go pick up a m16 when you come back ,talk to me
ps, lose the fucked up sandals!
Tony says: It's funny how all these open minded and liberal residents of Portland are so defensive about their city. I found it to be kind of backwater. Like the shit that was hip in NY, LA or even Vegas, took 5 years to reach Oregon. But worse is the white ass punk bums, who refuse to work.
Sinthia says: It's unfortunate your experience in Oregon was primarily Portland. I've been living on the coast several years and love it here. The people are a little more hard-scrabble and down-to-earth and the scenery is breathtaking. I ride my bike all over the coast and am saving for a kayak (there are tons of opportunities for getting on the water beyond the ocean -- currently I rent kayaks to get out on the water and am looking forward to having my own).
Portland politics do suck (so does Seattle, where I grew up and lived for over 30 years). But at least in Oregon the real nutjobs seem to remain in Eugene, so at least we know where they live : )
In all honesty, I think MOST Oregonians would give up property tax in a heartbeat if it would be replaced by a sales tax (a fairer way to tax people). Unfortunately, the one thing Oregon and Washington have in common is the understanding that government cannot be trusted and that there is no way we will ever trade one system for the other. Changing the tax base nearly always results in winding up with BOTH an income and a sales tax, so both states steadfastly cling to their systems. I lived in San Jose a couple of years and believe me, their high sales tax and income tax nearly drained me dry, not to mention the insane cost of living. I was thrilled to be back in the NW. California is a great place to visit (and happily, just a one day drive) -- but I will never live there again (and talk about idiot politics! Kalifornians are just simply insane).
As for the rain... I'm so